Tag Archives: Mental Health

The Precarious Balance of a Writers’ Mental Health #Writing #MentalHealth

My first published book received its 200th review on Amazon yesterday. Time for celebration you would think. Unfortunately, the rating was a one star ‘it was rubbish’ analysis. The reader didn’t connect with what I was trying to convey and was disappointed with her purchase.

Woman Reading

Don’t get me wrong, this is not my first one-star review, and I’m sure it won’t be the last, but when you struggle with depression and anxiety, every single one is like a kick in the gut.

The black fog quickly descended as I re-read the review over and over until I could recite it off by heart. Why this particular evaluation tipped me over the edge I couldn’t tell you because I’ve had far worse in the way of derogatory comments, but that’s the fragile balance of a mind plagued with mental health issues.

The tears swiftly followed, and then the sugar cravings kicked in. The biscuit barrel was emptied, copious amounts of coffee was drunk, and Grey’s Anatomy (Lexi and the plane crash episode – if you’re a fan you’ll understand!!) was downloaded and watched.

It was as I sobbed into my drained coffee mug and repeated ‘damn you Shonda Rhimes’ for the millionth time that my phone pinged and I read a private Facebook message from a lady who had recently joined my Facebook Group. She was reading my book, the same book that had received its 200th review, and was loving it. She told me how helpful it had been to her, how much the challenges resonated with her own life, and the changes she was going to put in place because she’d been inspired. Wow. She made my night.

I hiccupped slightly, put down the remote and the custard cream, and shot back a grateful response. It was then that the black fog began to lift.

Not everyone will like your work. Not everyone will resonate with your story. Some people will go out of their way to be critical, while others will offer constructive feedback that you can use going forward. Why did this particular review wind me so much? I’ve been crazy busy recently, I’m tired, slightly overwhelmed, and pushing towards a deadline so all of this could easily have contributed to my fragile state of mind.

As authors, we tend to be quite introverted as we hide behind our computer screens. Putting our work out there for the world to see, buy, read, praise, or criticise is an overly extrovert action. We have to find the happy medium where we get to enjoy our craft but switch off a little from the buzz each title creates.

There were many factors involved in my mini-meltdown, and although it took me a few hours to reach a comfortable conclusion, I’m happy to admit that I’m okay with people not liking my books. I write about personal development which is unique to each reader. There are twenty positive messages for every one negative, and that’s what I need to remind myself when I contemplate switching off the computer and giving up.

Looking after our mental health is just as important as fuelling and nourishing our physical body, and while finding that balance might take time, it’s worth the effort. In this instance, I turned to my self-care kit and began the process of healing once again.

I’d love to hear how you cope with negativity or knockbacks. Some people can brush it off with ease while others dwell on issues for longer than necessary. What do you do to support your mental health?

 

Learn How to Be Kinder to Yourself #PersonalDevelopment #MentalHealth #Wellbeing

Learn How to Be Kinder To Yourself

There are times in our lives when everything gets a bit too much. Whether that’s overwhelm at work, too much screen time, an extensive to-do list, or a strain on our mental or physical health. Instead of taking a step back we often soldier on regardless of the consequences. Read more

It’s Not a Midlife Crisis – It’s a Midlife Makeover! #PersonalDevelopment

zc8jcI find that I’m reading articles and books on a variety of midlife topics at the moment. I’ve devoured Jonice Webb’s book, Running on Empty, nodded my way through Miranda Sawyer’s Out of Time, and wept bucket loads over Diane Esguerra’s journey to scatter the ashes of her son at Machu Picchu in her memoir, Junkie Buddha. Read more

How to Create a More Fulfilling Future: Week 5 #SelfHelp

How To Create a More Fulfilling FutureNEW BLOG SERIES: How to create a more fulfilling future.

If you’ve missed any of the posts in this new series then don’t panic – you can catch up by clicking the links below:

·         Week 1

·         Week 2

·         Week 3

·         Week 4

As promised, I will post additional questions for you to answer every Monday. You might want to gather them all together like a personal workbook, or just pop in and out to answer the questions that appeal to you.

Don’t think too hard about each question, just go with the first thing that pops into your head. Some questions will amuse you, others will test your boundaries, but all of them will bring about a sense of fulfilment.

Each week I’ll share the link to the previous questions so you can collect them as you go and don’t have to worry if you miss a week. They may seem random in their order, but if you do choose to follow the entire series, then you’ll hopefully get a fully rounded picture of your life, goals, and aspirations for a fulfilling future.

Grab a notebook, your journal, or open a new word document and record your answers so you can refer to them when needed. This week I want you to think about your time spent online.

Questions for week #5:

  1. How long do you spend online every day?
  1. How often do you use social media?
  2. If you set aside time for a social media break, what would you miss?
  3. What could you do instead if you weren’t online?

Join me next Monday for more questions.

As always, your responses can be as private or as public as you choose. Feel free to leave your answers in the comments below. If you’d rather not, then simply share how you find the selection of questions, if you can answer them easily or if you struggled, and what you have chosen to do with the answers that came up for you if anything.

Thanks for visiting my blog, I hope you enjoyed this post. Want more? Connect with me here:  Twitter @ShelleyWilson72, Instagram or check out my Facebook pages http://www.facebook.com/FantasyAuthorSLWilson and http://www.facebook.com/MotivateMeBlog. You can also find me on Pinterest

 

How Do You Cope With The Tough Times? #SelfHelp

How do you cope with the tough timesWe all experience tough times at certain points on our life journey. This may be due to health issues, financial problems, grief, pain, or loss. However, it’s how we deal with them that defines us.

Too many people disappear into victim mode when presented with a challenge. Whereas others find an inner strength that helps them forge through the anguish and hopefully come through these tough times with more wisdom, clarity, and vigour than ever before. Through my books and blog, I hope to share with people all my tough times – the gritty side of life – and then show my readers how I was able to emerge from the pain as a better version of myself. Read more

Embracing Personal Development to Lead a Happier Life

‘When the student is ready the teacher appears.’ Buddha.

Embracing PDThat quotation became a guiding light through dark times for me. Instead of shaping my life as a victim of emotional and physical domestic abuse, I was guided down the pathway of a survivor by numerous mentors. It wasn’t on overnight revelation by any means. Before I tuned into the right vibrations, I lost my way, abusing my body and mind with alcohol and a poor diet. I developed hyperhidrosis and eczema brought on by the stress of divorce and coping as a single mum to three children under the age of six. I lost my job and my home, as well as an entire family unit in the way of mother and father-in-law, sister, brother, nieces, and nephew. I felt very alone.

When my Reiki Master Teacher appeared in my life following a series of events and meetings that I later learned to be synchronicity at work. I realised that ‘I’ the student, was ready. By studying the principles of Reiki, I was able to utilise these lessons and adopt the techniques for self-work. Understanding, finally, that it’s impossible to help others if you are broken. Working on my issues, became a priority and from a more grounded base, I was able to support my children and embrace a solid, happy, and healthy family life. Read more

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