It's Not a Midlife Crisis – It's a Midlife Makeover! #PersonalDevelopment

zc8jcI find that I’m reading articles and books on a variety of midlife topics at the moment. I’ve devoured Jonice Webb’s book, Running on Empty, nodded my way through Miranda Sawyer’s Out of Time, and wept bucket loads over Diane Esguerra’s journey to scatter the ashes of her son at Machu Picchu in her memoir, Junkie Buddha.
What do all these things have in common? The passage of time, getting older, travel, getting out and about more, discovering who we are, learning to love ourselves at later stages in our lives.
Midlife, according to the experts, tends to hit men at the age of 43, and women around the age of 44. I can, therefore, confirm that I am well and truly in the middle of my life cycle. The family genes are fairly strong so I should last out until I’m around 90 all being well. That means I have another forty-five years left to tick off all the items on my bucket list, and that’s only if my body doesn’t seize up, my bladder continues to work, my eyesight remains semi-decent, and nobody takes my driving license off me!
I recently convinced myself that I was having a midlife crisis. No, I didn’t get botox or shave my head, and I already have tattoos. I didn’t start dating a younger man (although I’m not going to rule this out altogether!) and I haven’t started frequenting strip clubs. What I have done is start a saving plan to buy a VW T2 Campervan, which is something that’s sat on the top of my bucket list for as long as I can remember.
It’s perfectly agiphycceptable for a man who is going through a midlife crisis to buy a motorbike, or sports car, so why can’t I have a camper?
It was as I sat behind the giant wheel of a type 2 that I realised my midlife crisis wasn’t in fact a crisis at all. It’s a shift in dynamics, a change in fortune and circumstance. My three children are all older and reasonably capable of looking after themselves. I’ve been a single mum for thirteen years so I’m pretty savvy at looking after myself, my family, and my affairs. The road is calling, freedom beckons, and I’ve decided to embrace this time of my life as a midlife makeover rather than a crisis.
I hope that next year is the start of a journey of discovery. I’m still searching for the perfect camper that will become a part of our family, but I’ve already got the road trips mapped out for when it does arrive in our lives. Watch this space…
What do you dream of doing but think you’re too old set in your ways to achieve? Are you in the middle of a midlife makeover? Share your tips and stories in the comments and feel free to join me in a VW convey if you spot me on the road 🙂
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  1. I absolutely am. Recently realising that, as a middle-aged Singleton, if I want to get more from life & tick off items from my bucket list, I might have to do some of them on my own. I started earlier in the year, by booking a yoga & vegan retreat; I am not vegan & I practiced yoga last in 1990-something! I had the most amazing time & met some lovely people, who I wouldn’t have engaged with in the same way if I had been with a friend/partner. This then gave me the bug! I then decided to do something I’d long wanted – to celebrate Thanksgiving in NYC… myself. It was incredible! A few weeks before I was extremely nervous & thought I might have made a mistake to tackle something so huge alone, but it was amazing. I got to do what I wanted when I wanted. I intend to do more of the same in 2018!

    1. I love this, Nikki! Taking control of your life and grasping every opportunity to live it to the full. I think I fear slipping into a stage of wearing beige and highlighting the shows I must watch each week in the TV Times. Let’s grow old disgracefully!! 😉

  2. I am 62 and most of my friends are retired or semi-retired. My bucket list reads like a fantasy to them! I’m becoming increasingly aware how my social environment programmes us, subtly into a certain ‘frame of mind’. At 42 (for example) assuming your friends/partner are of a similar age, your environment is youthful and you get to feed off that. At my age my social environment is much more variable! I have friends the same chronological age who have become much older in their mindset, and their focus now is on securing their elderly future. I find it uncomfortable. Partly because I don’t think the same way, it feels too old for me. And partly because it makes me question myself, if me and my bucket list are as crazy as they think we are! ????

    1. I think this is a fabulous outlook to have, Anne. If we feed our minds and keep active then there’s no reason why we can’t do all the incredible things our younger selves would have achieved without giving it a second thought. My bucket list sounds similar to yours but I’m happy to embrace the crazy if you are 😉 x

  3. Ooh you’ll love the book I’m reviewing on my blog tomorrow, Shelley. Hit The Road, Jac! is about an inspiring lady who bought a classic Enfield motorbike for her 50th birthday and set off touring.

  4. Oh my God. This sounds perfect. I’ve always loved the idea of getting a camper van & the freedom it’s provide. I’m very jealous of your recent purchase. Also, I’m going to have to buy that Miranda Sawyer book, but I think the Junkie Buddha one might ruin me.

  5. I admire that you all know what you would like to do and are still trying to achieve it. I’m 47 and I only want a couple things. To move somewhere when my son graduates high school and visit France & Italy. That’s it. It bothers me that I don’t have anything else on my mind. Maybe it’s because I’m single??

    1. Having a couple of quality goals is much better than wanting to achieve a bunch of stuff! Travel is something I love to do too so it often appears on my bucket list. Don’t let other peoples lengthy goal list bother you or cloud what you want to do. I’m learning to cut back and be more in the now with what I want to achieve. Less is more! My third child leaves secondary school this year which means I’ll have more freedom and flexibility to either grab opportunities or embrace a bit of quiet time. I hope you fulfil your dreams. Italy is one of my favourite places to visit. P.s: I’m 46 and also single!

  6. Love this ! I’m 41 but having just left the corporate asylum… I too, am in the middle of a midlife makeover. I travelled around Europe in my teens with my parents in a VW camper, go do it! It will be brilliant!

  7. I love this! It’s not a crisis but an opportunity to embrace the new opportunities this part of life affords. I too was a single mom. When my youngest graduated high school I bought myself a Camaro. Something I’ve always wanted but had other priorities while raising my family. Last week I bought my first horse. Dream number two! Making the most of each stage of life isn’t a crisis. It’s embracing and enjoying life to the fullest. I’m having a ball!

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