How Planning and Organisational Skills are a Vital Tool in our Lives

How to Plan and Stay OrganisedWhen working with my female clients, I always made sure to maintain direct eye contact. I found it interesting how varied eye contact could be from client to client, but by keeping my own gaze level and my posture upright, it often calmed my ladies enough to get them to open up about any physical or emotional issues they wanted to work on during our therapy sessions.

I’ve attended numerous workshops and training sessions over the years where I’ve had to correct myself when I realised I had crossed my arms and/or legs. Notably, it was often when the topic was a difficult one to cope with. Folding in on myself was something I started to do long before I left my abusive marriage. Over time, I’ve learned how to open up my body language and slow my speech, although this is still a work in progress. By being responsive to the lessons all around me, I maintain my interest in the people I meet and the subjects I learn and teach.

One lesson that I found to be the most valuable was exploring my personal space. Blank pages don’t scare me, neither do empty rooms, or lulls in conversation. I’ve found the answers to so many questions within these quiet periods. That wasn’t always the case, though, and it’s only through identifying my fears that I’ve been able to reflect on my feelings about this. I challenged myself regularly at the start of my period of recovery and set goals accordingly. One of the challenges I faced that has since become a favourite pastime, was going to the cinema on my own.

Facing the world as a single mother (i.e.: alone) was frightening. It took a great deal of inner work to understand how I’d allowed my situation to control my actions. I was solely responsible for three small lives, but equally, I was responsible for creating my own happiness. I knew how important it was to change my thinking and set goals that were specific to my situation, manageable for a single working mother, achievable, realistic and timely.

I used journaling as a way to record my progress, and assess my achievements. This personal development tool is my main go-to method to this day. It allows me the space I need to evaluate my life. I am also able to reflect on my emotions when dealing with specific experiences.

My three children are all in their teenage years, which comes with its own set of rules! My middle son has a strong personality which can, at times, create conflict. I’m learning to set aside my personal issues so that I can focus on helping him become the unique individual I know he will be. Exam stress and hormones aside, he is a challenge for me, but a challenge I accept as he can teach me so much. He is an extrovert, whereas my eldest son and my daughter are introverts and my parenting skills are constantly put to work as I support their diversities. The quote ‘It is these characteristics and experiences that make a person unique.’ resonated strongly with me as my son is often reprimanded at school for being different (strong, verbal, and sometimes argumentative).

For my own part, I recognise how my behaviour could impact on their beliefs, and I’m also mindful of the various stages I have worked through on my journey; child, victim, anger, and denial.

By understanding these stages, I hope to continue supporting my children in the future. It is my wish that they take responsibility for their actions and maintain positive self-esteem as they become adults.

Raising self-esteem, however, is an ongoing work in progress for me. I have always been able to motivate my family, friends, and my clients, but when I need to turn that around to address my own needs, I often struggle. I’ve learned to stop berating myself and accept that I am doing the best I can. Setting goals, listening to my thoughts, and recognising any negative body language helps me manage my time, emotions, and goals.

Being organised and planning specific areas of my life is a valuable tool. I pre-plan meals and shopping lists to create a stress-free environment at home, as well as organising a household chore list, so the children are engaged in helping with the upkeep of their living space. We work well as a team.

As a writer, it’s imperative that I plan my writing time and stick fastidiously to the schedule if I hope to continue to produce two books a year. My livelihood depends on this, which acts as a positive motivator.

When I became ill a few years ago, I suffered from a severe lack of motivation. However, I gave myself permission to take a step back and think about my goals and action steps. Giving myself this space helped immensely and I could focus on the young adult fiction side of my business, losing myself in fantasy, until I felt ready to return to my non-fiction roots. Having another option kept my writing goals moving forward but gave me the breathing space I needed to work through the physical and mental issues I was facing at the time.

It would have been far too easy to abandon my writing altogether and disappear down the rabbit hole of despair. However, my goals were flexible, and I could tweak them accordingly to meet my new needs. Monitoring my writing sessions proved that I was still producing the necessary work.

Planning at that time enabled me to ‘get my mojo back’ without losing hope, or opting for unhealthy behaviours, and I have been able to maintain these positive changes and evaluate future projects and goals accordingly.

Thanks for visiting my blog, I hope you enjoyed this post. Want more? Connect with me here:  Twitter @ShelleyWilson72, Instagram or check out my Facebook pages http://www.facebook.com/FantasyAuthorSLWilson and http://www.facebook.com/MotivateMeBlog. You can also find me on Pinterest

How to Create a Visual Healthy Eating Plan

How to Create a Visual Healthy Eating PlanSummer is fast approaching, and if you’re anything like me you’ll be in a blind panic that the only summer clothing that still fits you is your flip flops!

I have taken part in every possible healthy eating regime known to man, purely for blogging purposes of course! So, what have I discovered? Ultimately, I’ve realised that I have absolutely no willpower whatsoever – zilch, nada, nowt! I begin full of enthusiasm and dedication to the cause, but it rarely lasts. The problem here is not the regime; I know so many people who are at their ideal weight and loving a new found confidence after following a specific routine. I understand that my problem is inside my head, and unless I can ditch the self-loathing, I will never crack this. Read more

Prioritise Your Daily Tasks and Reduce Stress

Prioritise Your Daily TasksI have a confession. There are certain times when I am totally unorganised. I try to blame it on the moon cycle but to be honest, it’s all on me! At the moment, I’m trying to work on four projects at the same time, and instead of being productive, I’m procrastinating because I’m overwhelmed. Deep down I know that I’m creating a false stress because if I just got on with it, then I would be able to enjoy the creative rewards of achieving these tasks.

The ever increasing to-do list on my desk taunts me daily. I sit at my computer and work through it, but at the end of every day I still haven’t finished, and I end up adding to tomorrow’s list.

I’m stressing about it! It’s causing me to have sweaty palms and to dread opening my office door. I’m losing sleep over it, going off my food – oh, okay so I’m not that bad, but it is causing me unnecessary angst, and there is a very simple solution to reduce this stress. Read more

15 Ways to Boost Your Wellbeing #Selfcare

15 Ways to Boost Your WellbeingI’m quite a positive person, even when I’ve been knocked down, I have an annoying habit of bouncing straight back up again with an even wider smile. Walking the personal development path means I embrace all lessons – good and bad – and I learn what I can so it helps me grow emotionally and spiritually. It’s all very wonderful to have this mind set, and it certainly gives me plenty to write about, but recently I was chatting with a friend who isn’t having such a great time at the moment. They are feeling dejected, anxious and find themselves wishing the days away.

I’ve had so many moments where I feel the same way, and sometimes I bottle it all up, just like my friend. Although I love evolving who I am and putting the self-help tools I use into daily practice, I know that occasionally I’ll disappear into my inner self and forget to engage with the world, or reach out for an understanding ear. Read more