We all experience tough times at certain points on our life journey. This may be due to health issues, financial problems, grief, pain, or loss. However, it’s how we deal with them that defines us.
Too many people disappear into victim mode when presented with a challenge. Whereas others find an inner strength that helps them forge through the anguish and hopefully come through these tough times with more wisdom, clarity, and vigour than ever before. Through my books and blog, I hope to share with people all my tough times – the gritty side of life – and then show my readers how I was able to emerge from the pain as a better version of myself.
I’ve changed so much over the past few years. My attitude, desires, fears and even my voice have altered beyond recognition. Instead of mourning the loss of the old me, I’m trying to embrace who I’ve evolved into and continue to learn how to live in this new shell.
To travel through the tough times, you must embrace whatever it is you’ve been through. It’s part of who you are. I saw a glimpse of the new me while sitting on the edge of a rock as my legs dangled over the sheer drop at Devil’s Den Yellow Rock Trail in Arkansas. That single moment in time has become a tool to help me on my road to recovery and self-discovery.
I’ve been lucky enough to have travelled a fair bit over the summer months. With this ‘down time’ comes the inevitable hours on a sunbed, swimming in the sea, or staring into space over a café con leche when your mind wanders, your thoughts swirl, and you contemplate the meaning of life.
No, I haven’t discovered the meaning of life so don’t get too excited. What I have found is a burning desire to be free. Free of routine. Free of the voices in my head. Free of the overwhelming ‘stuff’ that swamps me on a daily basis. I’ve ‘done it all alone’ for so long that it’s finally worn me out.
On my recent trip to America, my aunt asked me how I could take that ‘I feel like my old self again’ feeling and recreate it once we got back home. I didn’t know the answer to that question and still don’t, but I’m doing my best to work it out.
I sat at my computer yesterday and began typing. Not for any work in progress I have in the pipeline, not for a blog post, nor an interview, but just random thoughts, likes, and feelings. I surprised myself with what I’d written because it was a mission statement for a brave new world. There were glimmers of hope that I haven’t utterly forsaken my self-care, even though I feel like it at the moment. Travelling was a huge part of this new dream, not necessarily overseas, but actually exploring this beautiful island we call home and embracing nature, walking, and the outdoorsy life.
There are dreams I’ve had for many years, such as owning a VW camper van, which bubble to the surface more and more often these days – there’s that need for freedom screaming to be heard. My children are growing up and need me less and less which means I’m spending more time on my own. When we are all at home, they have their own interests and lives, and I’ve begun to realise I’m rarely alone but quite often lonely. How do I combat this? Don’t get me wrong, I’m perfectly happy in my own company but sitting at my desk every day and then on my sofa night after night just isn’t cutting it.
I know this post is a vague ramble through the dark fog that is my brain, but I also know that some of my friends feel the same way and so I wanted to share these jumbled thoughts in the hope that we can all find that elusive answer.
Getting my mojo back, or maybe inventing a new kind of mojo is what I hope to achieve as I move forward on my personal development journey. If I find out how then you’ll be the first to know.
I’d love to hear how you cope with the tough times, or if you’ve found your mojo then offer up your top tips. Please feel free to leave me a comment below.